At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Randomize
