Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
In America we eat man semen.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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