youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
