i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
