I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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