"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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