i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
