i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Plan B is the new Plan A
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
it was like eating out sand paper
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
