hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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