I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
