i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
