Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
