We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
