What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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