I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
