I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
