dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
