a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Less talking, more tequila
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
