Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize