Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
The adults are the big ones right?
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