I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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