why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
