im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
