I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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