the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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