I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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