someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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