all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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