that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
