YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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