I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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