i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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