As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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