At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
