Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
