they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
