he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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