So drunk its hurt
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
