You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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