How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize