just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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