Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize