Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
it was like his penis was on wheels.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
