dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
