His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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