hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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