Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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