if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
