Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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