i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
