the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
