i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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