so that wasnt chicken after all
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
no you cant smoke seaweed
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
where are my eyebrows?
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