dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
