I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Randomize
