I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
