Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
