If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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