Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
