Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
