Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize