Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize