I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I don't deserve a penis
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
