idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
