Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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