i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize