Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Randomize
