I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I want to make a zoo with you.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
