There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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